Guilt and jealousy

o god I wrote the longest post and it died basically I hate myself , I had a large arguement with myself, answered some questions to myself, decided I was an inane new born baby and my mind was in started in motion and will never stop. I screamed AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH a lot. I realized I still can't let go of Kristin and I am obsessing, her blog let me realize I still do more than just care.
I've been feeling guilt all day for somthing I said yesterday I explained that it wasn't trying to stay away from her because I don't like her but rather becuase I like her and every time I get near her I seem to make her miserable, at best. So anyhow I hate myself and umm am signing off while my eyes burn after reading that post.