Heheh my life is so much fun. . .I'm in my first love triangle or tangle ever, I love a girl who likes one of my close friends who could care less about her and has a girlfriend. I'm really confused as she lets me pry into who she likes, she even would allow me to know why, yet she won't let me know who gave her the flowers which seems entirely pointless. Anyhow I don't have time to be doing this, but o well. So she used to claim she actaully was able to come up with a reason to like me till she ran out of stars in the sky even for houston on a cloudy day I doubt she could have done that and now I"m really curious. Although you can't ask why some one liked you and what they do like about someone else it sounds so comparative and no thats not what i"m trying to do. I was reminded of her by just about everything from fog, and clouds in the morning (eventually spanning to any whether including sunny that would make my mind drift back to that), to the color light blue, to hair that seemed half similiar to hers, and finally I"m so far out of it I saw a guy with the name Israel and I was like wow then the next thought was hmm I wonder why that reminds me of Kristin. So my band at a 1-2 according to Mr. Brown and becasue I'm typing this instead of doing what I need to be doing I"ll probably get a 2 at the real contest, smart of me huh. O in the last 5 nights I've spent three of them staying up till 2:30 thinking of her last night not one of them I got some sleep and was up I told myself I was gonna kill myself if it was 2:30 again, it wasn't the digits flipped it was 3:20. I hate emotion, ok actually I"m not that passionate about them rather I dislike them for the moment, it may go to hate later on. I'm head over heels willing to do whatever I could dream of for her and her emotions decided they don't like me anymore yet they'll go for someone as far as she knows (and I know) doesn't care or think about her, how dumb can an emotion be if only they could think or maybe they do and they have fun tormenting us. Now I feel bad for her. Ehh o well what can you do. Other than sit and watch her, then stop watching because your staring, so just imagine her. O you know today I got to that point where I felt like I was forgetting her again, but this time I wasn't really worried becasue the last time that happenned I kept thinking about her at night and it grew and grew till I was up till 2:30 and then on reading somthing my last post happenned. So I'm not really worried, but obviously I haven't forgotten her for as I was thinking this we pulled up to a fast food restaurant and the guys name tag was Israel I accidentally out loud said WOW and then immediatly was reminded of her, and all the other things that had reminded me of her that really shouldn't have like seeing my name on an Eckerds sign. I Noticed anything that should remind people of me reminds me of her. Lets see o and I think I'm nearing the end today I think I decided why I keep this not the reason I was originally thinking. I originally thought it was to stop from talking to myself a last pathetic attempt to be social unfortunately that would be much better than the reason thats more likely. Rather its because I still want Kristin to know every detail about me, even if I don't dare say it, even if I don't think she should know it, even if I think it will painful, even if I think it is wrong. I don't care, I"m so. . .I don't no if selfish is the word, but yea kind of. I won't leave her be. Dumb love, o wait this might go on for a bit more theres somthing in her post I"m going to comment on.
EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die
2. see all my friends truly happy
that won't happen unless you either have hardly any friends and by your definition I doubt that or almost all your friends are made happy by somthing you control like your own happiness.
hmmm I wish I could still do the 7 ways to win your heart but I don't think thats even fair to try
I don't believe in anything near one true love thats to cruel to think of
FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of
3. everyone hating me
you wont have to worry about everyone hating you, just everyone that matters hating you, I could take the literal not everyone knows you, but I mean I won't ever hate you, I may some day come to despise you but never hate.
2. being alone
depends on how you mean alone as in: for a minute in a room, or everyone forgetting you, As long as you let me I will always be there to fall back on, to send some random IM to, to just say hi, but you wont want me, this is putting myself down but if you cared. . .you dont, you know I"m oblivious give me some forward hint if I"m wrong somthing I'll get and if I don't try again please I beg of you, if you can't just tell me
4. losing those i love
I did this one last rather than first because I did'nt want to get to it not because it was a happy note. So is it losing someone you love when you no longer love them anymore, hmm, no probably not thats just their loss. Hmm this is kind of similiar to being alone, its only what you make it, but I can guess you can't always control what you make it, otherwise I'ld say you'ld still like me but thats not true otherwise you never would have liked me from the start. I put myself down a lot but thats truth not put down. OK so me signing off from me to conquer Rome, sail through Greece and play on Music AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I hate AD