apart

Today wasn't my brightest day, but it was certainly ironic. I had the answers to some of the most minor of Diedre's problems. I used her friend to stay sane. My deal became a favor. My fun job became hell, . So I guess I'll talk about my work day or maybe not, but I can't sleep even though I should. I wonder who still reads this but I doubt any one would admit to it. At work I burned myself, I . . .really just intended it to go one way and it went differently, I almost missed Diedre's call, because I'm not supposed to have my phone on at work. And her voice on the phone, almost always seems happier for the first half instant. I'ld say its like I'm making her miserable, but I guess I know I am. For the longest time I cared for nothing, but her, but that wasn't good enough cuz I didn't care for myself. Theres a lot to that, that I won't go into unless asked, and it will sound backwards and in circles, but its not that simple. So now I'm calling her because I want to just hear her voice, know that she's ok, although even as I say that, I am almost certain she won't call me tonight. It's so hard not to just tell her I love her.

I'll keep it shorter tonight so now for quotes, and friends give me a heads up I have time, I mean my whole life has just lost its purpose between my loss of grad school and Diedre, thats pretty much all I had in my future. I don't vollunteer here, so all I have is friends, so give me something.

"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose".

-- Evan Esar

Dare to be yourself.
-- Andre Gide
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
-- H. L. Mencken
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time- Billy Joel