BROKEN SINGLE

FUCK
Its over I blew it, its all her fault its all mine
So thats it one quarter of my life blown to hell, because I can do the one thing I thought I could do well. Apparently I have no skills I can't keep Diedre happy, so she's leaving me. I guess I had my warning but I suck at life. I have no future, and I guess I don't really have much of a past, I mean look at this fucking blog its what I Made so I could look back and remember what I am, but its not much of anything to be worth me.

If anyone disagrees prove me fucking wrong. I doubt you do it reasonably.
The reason I"m writing this post isn't really because I"m pissed and angry which I am. The reason I"m writing this is because I"M scared to lie down again, because everytime I do every muscle in body tightens to th epoint that I can't really breath. I hurt so bad, and I feel like I"m doing situps, but I haven't done anything but try to go to sleep, every part of me hurts and I"m so exhausted.
I want to be done, but I don't know what to do. I wish suicide were a real opition, because I"m tired of being a fuck up. Since thats all I seem to be. I could ask people to post a comment just to see if anyone actualy cares to see what I type here, but I know better, no one will because I"m not worth shit.

Maybe now someone feeling bad for me will leave so feel better Scott note, but this concious pain I don't mind if it stayed forever, as long as I could have my nights, than I could just be emo. Rather than fear I won't wake up if I try to go to sleep nor will it be quietly down I go, but rather a painful tightening and squirming that I fear so much.

I"m like the dog that got electrocuted peeing on some guys car, and then avoided his house ever after, only I cna't really avoid sleep forever on.

ok i guess im going to try again

and this might be my last good bye

I'm really terrified like ive never been before and theres no one here
mo one because i gave everything up for her, , , maybe even life we'll see to morrow